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Scott McCrea wrote:You had me at rhubarb upside down cake.
Phil Winkler wrote:Incredible. Now you think it's your fault.
That, in itself, should tell you something is wrong. You have no idea what other people are thinking when he talks as he does. It is possible they are asking themselves why you aren't objecting to it.
Good grief. I'm sounding like Dr. Phil!
hunter wrote:SG, just my 0.02:
-Based on you descriptions I think Wendy is correct in her guess.
-Reading your description and feelings about why you don't necessarily want to do anything makes this a tough situation. I think Phil's suggestions are good but if they seem to harsh you could take a middle ground by talking to him and informing your supervisor of the issue and say that you have talked to LB and if nothing else occurs you consider the issue finished. The distinction here is that you are making your discussion a matter of record but are not filing a complaint. Putting things on record is important because down the line if you want to show this has been going on for a long time you have evidence. The same thing can be done at a less official level by using email and saving the messages.
It depends on the organization but if your employer has a Omsbud or conflict resolution person/service you might also discuss the situation with them.
James
Phil Winkler wrote:SG, it really sounds like Dilbert land there. I'm fairly sure I would have a hard time tolerating a lot of corporate life nowadays.
Also, you have an excellent contemporaneous record here, too. It would hold up in court or during a EOC hearing, I'm quite sure.
I suspect the guy is a bit of a sociopath based on his inappropriate behavior and talk. He simply doesn't understand the effects his words can have. As Wendy says, he may truly like you, but is incapable of expressing that in a normal way. He also likely lacks empathy; another sign of a sociopath.
They're out there.....
NZcaver wrote:But as you say, he's no doubt blissfully unaware he's irritating you by just being "nice" occasionally when passing. Despite best intentions, some people perpetually have their blinders on and can't begin to imagine how the other feels. Good luck.
wyandottecaver wrote:Hey,
At least your trying to make the situation better in a non-confrontational way, and seeking practical advice.
When comes to understanding women I admitted my failure long ago and just try to keep quiet :)
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