A woman's vocabulary

Want to share a good joke? Post it here. No offensive jokes, please.

Moderator: Moderators

Postby icave » May 2, 2007 8:01 am

tallgirl wrote:10. Forget About it: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are wrong.


Women can be wrong? I must have forgoten that somewhere along the way. Guess being married with do that! :kiss:
Signature, I don't need no stinkin signature!
User avatar
icave
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 214
Joined: Sep 7, 2005 8:50 am
Location: Fountain Hill, PA
Name: Mike Spencer
NSS #: 48165
Primary Grotto Affiliation: Greater Allentown Grotto
  

Postby Jep » May 2, 2007 9:55 am

I keep having a problem when "No" means "Yes". For instance "Would you like me to come by?" Answer, "No". Then I get questioned why I didn't drop in. After all, I was in the area. Jep.
Jep
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Sep 6, 2005 8:26 am
  

Postby Wayne Harrison » May 2, 2007 10:20 am

Or, "Would you like to do something special for your birthday?"

"No."
User avatar
Wayne Harrison
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 2382
Joined: Aug 30, 2005 5:29 pm
Location: Pine, Colorado
NSS #: 18689 FE
Primary Grotto Affiliation: unaffiliated
  

Postby Squirrel Bait » May 2, 2007 3:49 pm

There must be some clever term that has a universal "who cares other than you" saying with out sounding like eather person is in the wrong. eliminating the possibility of argument so the next topic can be advanced.
I hearby sommon the masters of "discression" from the south..
"When the student is ready the master will appear." (Dorel)
User avatar
Squirrel Bait
Occasional Poster
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Sep 16, 2006 9:30 pm
  

Postby cob » May 2, 2007 7:42 pm

"Yes, Dear...." gets me in trouble every time.... but not near as much as "Si, Monse..." (her mother's name)

I have to admit, I use these lines just to prove I am not afraid... but of course, I am...
If fate doesn't make you laugh, then you just don't get the joke.
cob
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 477
Joined: Sep 7, 2005 7:54 pm
Location: Ozarkistan
  

Postby bigalpha » May 2, 2007 8:37 pm

Sheesh, I'm gone for only a couple of weeks, and dissention breaks out.

:panic:
User avatar
bigalpha
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 611
Joined: Sep 6, 2005 3:04 pm
Location: Central TN
  

Postby Teresa » May 2, 2007 10:08 pm

Wayne, Jep...

I hope the women under 35 have been raised differently, but I often run afoul of the old Yes/No problem. I never say Yes to anything I won't do, but often will say No, and then change my mind after a bit of thought. Has somthing to do with the story of the two sons sent to the vineyard--the first said Yes, but then didn't follow through, and the second said No but reconsidered.

Older women say No to special treatment, because they have been raised not to be a bother or to be demanding. Of *course* they'd like something special for their birthday, to be visited, etc., but they want to give the guy an escape, if he is just asking something to be polite. Then, when the guy takes them literally at their word, they are hurt, and an uproar results. This is when the guy is supposed to say, "but I insist!" and then the woman feels special.

This is not logical. I don't say it is. It's like when you mow your grandma's lawn and she insists on paying you something, and you're embarrassed, but know it will hurt her feelings if you don't take the money, even though you really don't want to.

I have no explanation why this Yes/No problem exists between men and women, except perhaps that men tend to see yes as yes and no as no, and women see 128 shades of yes/no between the extremes.
Teresa
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 1413
Joined: Dec 31, 2005 9:06 pm
  

Postby tallgirl » May 3, 2007 12:08 am

I love what my mom does when you ask her what she wants for her birthday or whatever holiday. "Oh nothing, but maybe we could go somewhere." At this point my dad always thinks she is asking to be taken out to dinner while I know she would rather go to the beach, to a vineyard, to the national aquarium, or pretty much anywhere that you can take a day trip to from their house. I think they have both gotten better over the years at communicating this. Anyways it should be interesting to see what my boyfriend gets me for my birthday this year. :pray: Whitewater Rafting Trip :pray:
Failed gene line :grin:
:bat:
User avatar
tallgirl
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 167
Joined: Apr 29, 2007 6:27 pm
Location: Virginia
  

Postby Stridergdm » May 3, 2007 8:36 am

tallgirl wrote: Anyways it should be interesting to see what my boyfriend gets me for my birthday this year. :pray: Whitewater Rafting Trip :pray:


Just in case he reads these boards. :-)

Seriously... yeah I do think at times we each speak our own language. You'd think communicating would be easy but I know I'm STILL working on it after 10+ years of marriage.
User avatar
Stridergdm
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 931
Joined: Nov 1, 2005 10:08 am
Location: Capital District NY and Northern Virginia
Name: Greg Moore
Primary Grotto Affiliation: RPI Grotto
  

Postby Jep » May 3, 2007 1:24 pm

Teresa. Let's take this one more step. Let's say I ask "Do you want to have sex?" and your reply is "No". I better respect that "No" because if I don't, I've just stepped over the line. And, I've still gotten in trouble because I didn't pursue the topic further. :doh:

Jep.
Jep
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Sep 6, 2005 8:26 am
  

Postby tallgirl » May 3, 2007 1:39 pm

Jep wrote:Let's say I ask "Do you want to have sex?" and your reply is "No".


I don't know about Teresa but I find that question insulting. Unless it is your first time and you need the confirmation for ethical reasons don't ask a woman "Do you want to have sex?" Say you are cuddling and get to kissing you could ask "Shall I take your clothes off for you?" that is a bazillion times sexier and liable to get a smile even if she says "no". "Do you want to have sex?" is a real mood killer and women are moody especially in regards to having sex. Just wanted to point this out because some of you guys seem to be searching for any help you can get.
Failed gene line :grin:
:bat:
User avatar
tallgirl
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 167
Joined: Apr 29, 2007 6:27 pm
Location: Virginia
  

Postby NZcaver » May 3, 2007 1:53 pm

tallgirl wrote:"Do you want to have sex?" is a real mood killer and women are moody especially in regards to having sex. Just wanted to point this out because some of you guys seem to be searching for any help you can get.

Or how about... "so, are we gonna do it or not?" :rofl:
User avatar
NZcaver
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 6367
Joined: Sep 7, 2005 2:05 am
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Name: Jansen
NSS #: 50665RL
  

Postby Stridergdm » May 3, 2007 2:05 pm

One of the funnier stories that happened to me in regards to men asking women for sex....

But first let me preface it helps if you're familiar with Douglas Adam's story of eating crackers in a railway station.

Anyway....

So, housemate comes home with a bemused look on her face. She explains she had just come back from the local bar. Turns out a guy had walked up to her and simply said, "Sex?"

She had to admit it was the most straightforward pick-up line she had ever heard. She of course said no. But we talked about it and figured, hey, it cut through the bull, saved on buying drinks, etc.


So.. cut forward to next summer. Talking to a friend who was a fraternity brother. We were talking about dating, pickup lines, etc.

He said he had a housemate who would go to the local bar, walk up to women and simply ask, "Sex?"

Said the housemate came home every time with someone.

I'm still not sure how the stories say more about... him, or the women he picked up.

But gotta admit, none of the women were under any allusions as to what his end goal was.
User avatar
Stridergdm
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 931
Joined: Nov 1, 2005 10:08 am
Location: Capital District NY and Northern Virginia
Name: Greg Moore
Primary Grotto Affiliation: RPI Grotto
  

Postby Wayne Harrison » May 3, 2007 6:09 pm

I had a read somewhere that 2 out of 10 women will cut to the chase, if you ask them nicely -- don't know if it's true. It sure beats:

"Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"

or

"Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me." (I'm afraid she might come back with "It's going to take $50 before you're really good looking.")

Thank God I"m married.
User avatar
Wayne Harrison
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 2382
Joined: Aug 30, 2005 5:29 pm
Location: Pine, Colorado
NSS #: 18689 FE
Primary Grotto Affiliation: unaffiliated
  

Postby Teresa » May 3, 2007 9:37 pm

Jep wrote:Teresa. Let's take this one more step. Let's say I ask "Do you want to have sex?" and your reply is "No". I better respect that "No" because if I don't, I've just stepped over the line. And, I've still gotten in trouble because I didn't pursue the topic further. :doh:

Jep.


Did I say I understood the speech dynamics of this? I don't.

There's also the context. Some guy I don't know just walks up to me out of the blue (inebriated or not) and says, "Do you want to have sex?" and I'm pretty likely to be quite rude to him. Now, if my husband walks up to me in our house and asks the same question--well, NO! might be a little rough on his ego, so that's why women invented the line about having a headache. (Which is, of course, why men invented aspirin.)

I don't blame men for being confused about female speech. I don't know that women pay much attention to what men say--it's what they do which counts!

Have you all ever seen the Gender Genie?
http://www.bookblog.net/gender/genie.html

I cannot convince it I'm female.
Teresa
NSS Hall Of Fame Poster
 
Posts: 1413
Joined: Dec 31, 2005 9:06 pm
  

PreviousNext

Return to Joke Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron