Redneck PE Exam

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Redneck PE Exam

Postby Princess Butterfly » Apr 6, 2007 9:06 am

As an EIT in Alabama, I got a kick out of this one...

Redneck Professional Engineering Exam
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 Lb. possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A) 66 Ford Fairlane B) 69 Chevrolet Chevelle C) 64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Pabst Blue Ribbons will be consumed in cutting the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented its charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?

9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
See you on a long rope soon,

Princess Butterfly
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Postby Phil Winkler » Apr 6, 2007 12:19 pm

ROFLMAO!

That's great.
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Re: Redneck PE Exam

Postby cob » Apr 6, 2007 8:13 pm

you asked for it...

Redneck Professional Engineering Exam Answers...

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 Lb. possum.

1.5 inches. One has to also calculate the avg length of a 10 lb possum (27 inches) and the decreasing diameters of a persimmion trees limbs ( .5 inch/ foot) any fool kin tell ya that a .5 inch persimmon limb 'll hold up 10 lbs of possum by the tail!

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A) 66 Ford Fairlane B) 69 Chevrolet Chevelle C) 64 Pontiac GTO

D! NONE OF THE ABOVE!! The currect ansur is a '72 Chevy P/U! Idjits.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

How much product and what goodness? My grampa always swore he cud git 10 gal/day of the fins't sippin' wiskey out of 17 '47 Chrysler radgiators.

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Pabst Blue Ribbons will be consumed in cutting the trees?

S**Tdurn!!! 24. (24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... Coincidence? I think NOT!)

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented its charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

Not possible. They all been converted to stills long ago, and ozone does NOT make the corn better.

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

3, too old ta run. The rest are out in the field, chasin' that jackass of a brother-in-law of mine.

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

Do the math: Tha avg trailer takes up 600 sq feet... an acre has... Hell, on that much land, he has room fer 337 grandkids!

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?

You ain't from Arkinsaw are ye??? First off, it's a GUT WAGON!!! Here in the land of "Crooked and Steep" NOBODY reaches 45mph (especially on US 21), and when the brakes fail, the currect question is "How many people gag and drown on ther lunch before the ambulince gits there??" and fer extra credit, you ask: "How many Mexicans does it take to clean up the mess?"

9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

In Illinois, they removed all the gas sensurs 'cause the unfiltered Camels kept settin' em off. (I gots a kwestun: Is there any other kind of Camel?? I mean, ya ever try to filter one of them suckers??? It takes a roll of paper towels up the old dung-waddle, ifn's ya nos what I means, and they kiks lak mules!!!)

10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

Already done, idjit! Its called "lean beef"! Ya kin find it in any grocer store!
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