I'm working on a novel that has as a sub-plot three guys caving in southern France. I am not a caver, nor do I know its unique language, but I've visited a few websites and cobbled together what I "think" might be the right language for a scene I've just finished, and thought I better turn to the experts here to make sure I'm saying the right things. I would be grateful for any help in rewording the following as appropriate. If anything stands out as incorrect, or improvements can be made, please reply accordingly, with thanks!
Approaching their first pitch, an extremely narrow passage leading vaguely downward, Dengler rigged a traverse line to its head. For Dominic’s benefit he also rigged a coiled ladder to prevent his novice friend from struggling too much through the passage. As they made their way in, the pitch quickly widened and reached a rebelay several meters down, above a breathtaking shaft. A couple more rebelays and a slight deviation completed the full descent, and they found themselves in another magnificent gallery, the light from their headlamps dancing off crystal formations with massive boulders jutting out from the gallery walls.
“There’s a rift up this way,” Dengler said, pointing to a large passage split between two giant boulders. “Grab your gear.”
The entrance proved easily climbable, but once they were inside there was a three-meter drop, followed by a scramble down a steeply descending passage. Dengler attached a rope to a couple natural belays further up the rift, then placed two anchors over the pitch head to allow for a free-hang down into a drop. The others followed him dutifully.
The bottom of the pitch required a low, awkward crawl between two granite slabs, and they squirmed through a few puddles along the way. After another ten meters the passage widened at a trench, followed by a four-meter climb down to the floor of a small chamber, too narrow to accommodate them all. So, one by one they crawled forward through a tight passage bending left, then right, culminating with a tricky sideways wriggle leading to another short drop.
Again, thanks in advance to anyone giving me a hand here.
Gary