Attack of the Spelunkers! Hiking and finding a new cave

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Attack of the Spelunkers! Hiking and finding a new cave

Postby Chads93GT » Mar 7, 2010 12:11 am

Ok this is a big over the top, but here you go. This went on today after work :D

Hospital Cave, Bockman Spring Cave and Mossy Thorn Cave (temp)
Today I had a rather strange day in Missouri. I got stuck working surveillance this weekend in southern Missouri, about 3 miles from the Jacks Fork River on the National Ozark Scenic Riverway. One of the guys I frequently cave with told me about a cave named Hospital Cave, which was across the Jacks Fork river from a camp site I stumbled upon a month ago called Blue Spring. Well, all weekend I was sitting at one of the boat launch areas on the Jacks Fork, and even spoke to two national forest rangers about what I was doing. Being here was killing me, as I wasn’t able to really enjoy the weekend due to work. Last night I did a 10 mile trail run/hike on the Eleven Point section of the Ozark Trail, but that isn’t what I mean.
Well, today I took the first left past this dudes house I was watching, as the forest rangers told me there used to be a NPS campground down the road. I figured why not see how close I can get to the Jacks Fork from this side? All the roads I was finding were taking me to the Jacks Fork, but on the wrong side of the river! Well, I get going down this road and there is horse shit all over the place. You know when you are headed out into the middle of BFE Missouri when you are swerving around horse shit in the middle of the road. Eventually I said the hell with it and just drove through it. I made my way down the ridge and down into the hollow where the elusive Blue Spring lays hidden in the rocks. I get all the way down to the river and there is a drop off ledge, into the infamous sandy gravel bars that line the rivers in this part of the state. I figured this was a good time to back up, turn around, and park up the road in a turnoff about 100 yards back.
Before I knew it I had the front of the truck buried into a washout ditch that I didn’t notice was dropping off the side of the road. My front end plowed into the sand bank and I was immediately immobilized. I tried to back up, pull forward, turn side to side, but nothing was going. My left tire was simply too far down, and had to come up. “This is great, now what the hell am I going to do?” I said to myself. I have no gear to dig, just my crappy Chevy hydraulic jack and tire iron. I guess I can jack the front of the truck up until I can throw some rocks under the tire to give it a better angle for coming out of the ditch. I have all my vertical gear including 4 rescue pullys. Perhaps I could rig a 4:1 haul system off of my receiver hitch, and tie it off to a tree about 20 feet away. “Brilliant!” I said outloud in my best Guinness commercial voice. 6000 lb Tahoe, check. 6000 lb strength pit rope, check. Ascenders to grip the rope, check. Biners, pullys, webbing, etc, check. The ability to pull 1250 lbs up a hill…….. ok screw this, what the hell am I thinking. Hello, reality check?
About that time my wife sent me a text message saying she was hiking with our son Jon, so I took a picture of my truck, stuck in the rut, and sent it to her saying “I’m Stuck.” She immediately called me and I laughed about how dumb I was to not notice the rut on the side of the road. About that time I noticed a jacked up Ford 4x4 driving down the steep road directly towards me so I got off the phone, grabbed a machete out of the back and stood my ground against the locals. About that time I heard the theme song from Deliverance playing in the background. Time to dual some banjos.
Jim bob and Billy joe stumbled out of the truck and walked over towards me. Jim bob was the driver of the fine piece of Detroit steel, and stood approximately 6’0” and weighed about 170 lbs. “I can take him”, I said to myself. About that time Billy joe stumbled over carrying a case of Bud Light and offered me a beer. Well hell yes I will take a beer. In fact, give me all of them! These guys couldn’t have been 21. Looking over to the truck I saw 5 more kids stuffed into the back of the crew cab Ford. Jim Bob decided to drive around me and turn himself around. It must really suck having 4x4. The ability to go anywhere, especially climbing right up the 3 foot high sand dune that my front end was wedged into, and coming down the other side like my Mustang drive’s over a speed bump when I am driving 50 mph through the hospital parking lot, swerving around 80 year old women while they throw their walkers at me.
Needless to say Jim bob and Billy joe saved the day by pulling me out of my predicament and saving me a lot of time digging and jacking the front end of my truck up. The asked what I was doing down here, and I told them I was looking for Hospital Cave. That is when Jim bob told me that was where him and his crew were going. I decided to go rappelling instead. I drove up the road, parked, grabbed my lone beer, as well as my gear and headed up the hills and on top of the 70’ cliff overlooking the Jacks Fork river, directly over the back entrance of Hospital Cave. I began rigging my rope, setting up a diversion sling as trees were select and the best tree didn’t offer a direct route to the lip I wanted to negotiate. Moments later, Jim bob and the Hick Force 5 stumbled out of the back of the cave. Great…. I’ll just sit up here and see what they are up to. 6 or 8 joints later, and a 12 pack of Bud, they stumbled back into the cave from whence they came!
I immediately rappelled to the ground and climbed into this magnificent cave. I just had to see the wonders myself! The wonders of Bud Light can’s strung everywhere, and a 44 oz super big gulp drink cup from the local quicky mart. What fat ass brought that keg o cola into this remote cave? After cleaning up the junk I exited the cave, and walked around the base of the cliff to the main entrance of the cave, where the forest service had its regular sign posted about wearing a helmet, 3 sources of light, 2 joints and a 6 pack of beer, as things to have before entering said cave. I checked out this entrance as well and was delighted to see no trash. As I exited the cave I noticed across the valley from where I stood, was a continuation of the cave passage. The valley had cut down through the cave, and down another 20 feet to the present floor of the valley. How old is this place? It would take a ridiculous amount of time for this to happen as the valley only flows water when it rains. My God! I returned to my trusty PMI pit rope and climbed the rope. I figured to get a workout while I was here and 3 more bounces later I was off and heading back to my truck, but not without checking out blue spring its self. It was a shelter bluff for a cave, with a spring boiling up in the back with a fair amount of water flowing. After I had my fill of the cool air I headed back to my truck when I found a 3rd continuation of this same cave system. Pretty cool, right in the bluffs overlooking the river!
I returned to my truck only to decide that it was time to go find Eric and Dana Hooper, who were out hiking on the Eleven Point section of the Ozark Trail. Eric told me on the previous night that they were going to hike 10 miles to Bockman Spring and camp out for the night. I loaded up my topo map, compared it with my mapping program that I use to find bad guy’s houses, and headed off into the wilderness of the Mark Twain National Forest. “I’ll get you my pretty!” I cackled like the wicked witch of the west. I figured I had earned the right to do that, since I did live next to the Oz Museum in Wamego, Kansas for 3.5 years. Into the MTNF I went, flying down gravel forest road after gravel forest road when I came screeching to a halt at a dead end road. “OMGWTFBBQ!” I exclaimed!! My program says the road goes, but the road obviously doesn’t go! The topo map says the road ends, but my map says it goes, but there is no road! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I have to backtrack. I took off up the ridge like Bo Duke in the General Lee, all 4 tires flying through mid air and throwing gravel everywhere. I honked my horn, but I apparently forgot to install my “Dixie” horn sound song kit last week. A simple honk doesn’t cut it. Oh well, I continued on toward the Ozark Trail.
As I arrived, I hastily threw together my gear into my Camelbak HAWG pack and headed out into the wilderness. It wasn’t too long that I found one of those 1970’s Pepsi bottles with the swirly cork screw design down the side, sitting on the side of the trail. “Someone must have put that here,” I thought to myself. Of course they did dumbass, how else would it get here? Then it donned on me that this would make a great weapon for thwarting off moonbat’s, rock badgers, and black bears. I kept it clenched in my fist as I trudged on towards Bockman Spring where the Hooper’s were rumored to be camping. As I reached the hollow before the spring, I noticed on the east face, of the western most side of Devils Threemile Hollow, a black hole up on the face of the hill. Perhaps a cave? Who knows, not today, I am on a mission, and that mission is to sneak up on the Hooper’s and steal their food!
Moments later I arrived at a clearing with a campfire circle. I noticed to the west was a cliff face with a brick wall with a doorway leading into the cliff. What is this? A sasquatch hole with a door? Closer inspection revealed that it was Bockman Spring Cave. Eric told me how it was bricked up, and a pipe came out with spring water into a trough. It is a good idea for hikers to have fresh water 10 miles in on a 20 mile hike. This place is so remote there is a good chance that you could drink the water as is and not get sick, but I wouldn’t chance it. Even though there aren’t developments of any kind on the ridge above the spring, its best to dump in your fair dose of Dow Chemical’s so you die of internal rectal hemorrhaging when you are 85. Maybe it’s best to get ecoli…..
I stuck my head in the doorway of the cave and noticed something amazing! Yep! It’s a cave! Very small I yelled into it and looked around the corner to make sure the Hooper’s weren’t hiding from me, but alas, they weren’t here. This cave was tiny by the way. I’m not sure why a sasquatch would be so paranoid as to put a door on his cave, but whatever. It’s his hole. I immediately headed back to my truck, as the 1.75 mile hike in took 45 minutes, due to my sore feet from yesterdays brutal 35 mile trail run/hike. However, when I reached the hole on the hillside that looked like a cave, curiosity killed the cat and got the best of me. Once I crossed the dry stream I noticed the big boulders littering the hillside leading to this dark spot were covered with green moss. Well, I’m no expert but that there is a good sign. Oh look! Briars and thorns! Even better! This is a better sign than I could have hoped for! As the thorns were busy tearing into my flesh and making my body look like I was beaten with a cat of 9 tails by 25 dominatrix’ in Amsterdam, the elusive dark spot started looking more and more like a hole! I reached the entrance of the newly found cave and felt like I had just conquered Everest. That is, if Everest was 20 feet high and covered with mossy boulders and thorn bushes. Whatever, I was having my moment. I took down the GPS position so I could turn it into the Missouri Speleological Survey, then I shined my 3 watt headlamp into it. Yep! It’s a cave! I crawled in 20 feet to make sure it wasn’t just a hole that didn’t count as a cave, and I could see an active water channel, and passage in the back bending to the left and out of view. I also saw a pipistrel bat, which meant only one thing. Time to get the hell out of this cave.
I returned to the trail and continued the 12 mile hike back to the truck and after only 30 minutes I was standing at my Tahoe. Yes, I am that fast. Perhaps someday you too will be as good as “The Chad” and I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Tom Green. I turned my computer back on, loaded up my maps and began to scan over my options. I have an idea! I know where Eric was leaving his truck at the trailhead, so how about I head to his truck and leave a nasty note in his wiper saying how dirty of a trick it was to tell me he was going to camp somewhere, then not camp there so I couldn’t steal all his food in the middle of the night! After loading up my route on the computer, I mashed down on my foot print gas pedal, Joe Dirt style, and I was off to the races like a grey hound chasing a … well … whatever greyhounds chase. Either way I was hauling the mail.
I came upon some NF road and turned right and sped off into the unknown. All of the sudden the front end dropped a foot, I bounced around, gravel flew everywhere, and my Def Leppard CD collection went flying into the back of the truck, but not before I got smacked in the head with Van Halen’s 1984 album. I guess ole David Lee wanted me to Jump! After regaining my wits and slamming on the brakes before I plummeted off into the unknown … the unknown of a gravel road that just turned into a creek bed. Ok, a creek bed, seriously? I can’t see Eric and Dana driving down this road. I can’t see some 4 wheelers driving down this road. I could see a couple drunk college kids in a golf cart trying to becoming the next youtube sensation, driving down this road, but that is nether here nor there.
I decided to turn around, back up into the woods and get the F out of Dodge. I wanted off this rollercoaster, as I have had way too much fun today. I finally made it back to a paved road and the adrenaline began to wear off. I was no longer scared for my life. However, looking back, pull me out of the ditch or no, next time I catch some spelunkers leaving beer can’s in a cave I am going to go Ricky the Dragon Steamboat on them and put them in a hurt locker!


Ill post a few pics shortly
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Chads93GT
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Re: Attack of the Spelunkers! Hiking and finding a new cave

Postby Chads93GT » Mar 7, 2010 12:25 am

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Yep, Tahoe suck. Damn my 2x4.

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Anchor of choice wasn't inline with the lip of the cliff and the rope wanted to go left really bad. Had to rig a deviation.

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Hanging out on the Jacks Fork

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Back entrance to Hospital Cave is down there on the left. The spelunkers have now left so I can go down and pick up their trash.

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Blue Spring is out of shot on to the right.

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Biggg rocks in the water down there. splash! Hospital cave is just out of view on the bottom of the rock face on the right.

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Just enjoying the sun.

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This is the valley I talked about cutting hospital cave in half. The main cave is on the left , hidden, and the right segment is up high on the right. You can see a black hole close to the valley cliff face near the top on the right.

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Main entrance of Hospital Cave

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Must bring case of bud to enter cave.

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Back side of Hospital cave. rope is just out of viiew on the right.

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to the right of the last photo we have Blue Spring! I should have hung my rope over the entrance of this!

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Blue Spring. Sup with that wall?

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Blue Spring

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Lovely wall..........

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Blue Spring flowing into the Jacks Fork

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close up of the back side of hospital cave. Beer cans not included.

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enterance of the segment of hospital cave on the other side of the valley. If i crawl in this hole i will come out to the cliff face looking directly at the hospital cave entrance. weird.

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Hospital cave is in the back ground cliff, the segment is the hole on the right.

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View from on top of the 3rd segment of the cave. The 3rd segment is entered via a hole in the top of the cliff, and you walk out to a ledge overlooking the jacks fork. I am standing directly over this ledge.

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Bockman Spring Cave, aka the Sasquatch Hole!

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just inside Bockman Spring Cave

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Just around the corner, No eric, definately not a big cave, time to leave!

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Entrance from the inside out.

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Looking out into the clearing, ok so its stagnate water full of pond scum. yuck.

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Mossy Thorn cave entrance. Look closely, you can see thorns and briars! and even moss covered rocks! Original name ehh?

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just inside the entrance. Ok its a cave. guess I should turn it into the MSS and see if its on record. Im outta heereeeeeeeeeee
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Chads93GT
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Re: Attack of the Spelunkers! Hiking and finding a new cave

Postby Cody JW » Mar 7, 2010 8:42 pm

Sounds like those locals know how to cave-7 joints AND beer, I guess they do not mess around
It only takes one person to surrender a dog to a kill shelter ,but it takes many to rescue it.
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Re: Attack of the Spelunkers! Hiking and finding a new cave

Postby Chads93GT » Mar 7, 2010 10:07 pm

I decided to play it safe, since they hauled me out of the ditch. Just kids trying to have fun right? That cave is completely dead and busted up, but no vandalism. I guess I should be gladd they didnt take spray paint in with them.
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