Marduke wrote: Using carbide in your own group is one thing, but TR is a very popular cave with a LOT of groups going through, of which there was no way for him to inform people of his use of carbide ahead of time. Using it in such a cave where you KNOW dozens of other people will be, knowing that a LOT of people are effected negatively by the byproducts, is inconsiderate AT BEST.
Interesting. I was not aware of the requirement to inform other people that might happen to be in the same cave as you as to your choice of light source. I also did not know that "a LOT of people are effected [sic] negatively by the byproducts" which you seem to assert as some sort of cavers' common knowledge. edit: (cross-posted with Luke and Marduke here)
I DO know that Tumbling Rock is a very large cave, and the idea that your group was not able to get away from the carbide caver by hanging back and waiting a while before entering, or by visiting another part of the cave is laughable AT BEST. (as you say)
It is unfortunate that Amy had a bad reaction to the carbide. It's no fun for someone to get sick, but you guys are throwing a lot of blame and hyperbole around here when perhaps you should look a little closer at your own actions and choices. Carbide is not prohibited in Tumbling Rock. Asking the caver to extinguish his flame would have allowed a large quantity of raw, unburned acetylene to leak into the air, which probably would have caused more than just one headache. I'm sorry that the carbide caver wasn't as considerate as you would have liked, but he was not intentionally harming anyone or doing anything illegal or dangerous. I'm sorry that you are sensitive to the smell of carbide, but we have all read the trip reports from Amy's previous trips to Tumbling Rock where she did experience debilitating migraines where there was absolutely no carbide involved.
Here is one thread that describes this: http://forums.caves.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=10923&hilit=sungura+migraine+tumbling+rock&start=15
Here is another: http://forums.caves.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=12586&hilit=sungura+migraine+tumbling+rock
I will flip your suggestion back around on you. If your group knows that it has a medical problem with carbide, then perhaps you should visit less-traveled caves where you are more sure that you will be the only cavers inside. Visiting "such a cave where you KNOW dozens of other people will be," with the possibility that some of those people might be using carbide, seems like quite a reckless thing to do if smelling carbide is in fact a life-threatening emergency for you.
I would further suggest that you forget about caving on mainland Europe, or in southern Mexico, where carbide is still a common source of light, especially for deep, cold, expeditions. Know and communicate your limits, but do not force them on other groups of cavers.
If I may, I would like to borrow your peanut analogy: If I am deathly allergic to peanuts and decide to get on an airplane or go to a baseball game where I know people will be eating peanuts, then I am the one assuming the risk. To stand up and scream at the other people on the plane or in the ballpark about your own medical problem is rude and ludicrous. What you are doing here is quite similar.