Newbie from MO

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Newbie from MO

Postby commanderzoom » May 29, 2009 12:36 am

Hi everyone! I'm a semi-beginner caver in MO, about an hour west of STL. I live in between Meramec State Park and Onondaga State Park, so I'm right in MO cave country. I've been interested in caves pretty much since birth because I grew up with my uncle Lyman telling me stories about the days when he owned Onondaga. Then after he died, Dad would tell me stories about going through Onondaga as a little kid changing lights and stuff with his cousins. I went in my first "wild cave" as a teenager (Sheep Cave) then sort of forgot about caving until about a year ago. I'm 28 now. My husband and I have been exploring our local caves (properly equipped, of course), sometimes with our 8yo son or my mother. We take all of our kids (8, 4, & 2) into Sheep Cave every once in awhile. So far we've been to the Lone Hill Onyx Cave, Green's Cave, Hamilton Spring Cave, a couple of caves in the MCA that I don't know the names of, and some caves in the Huzzah CA that I don't know the names of. We also went to the Ennis Cave memorial day blow-out last weekend but didn't get to go in the cave because it rained the morning we were planning to go and it's been raining ever since. We're in the process of joining a Grotto.
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby chaz » May 31, 2009 4:16 pm

Welcome to the forum Commander! I hear Ennis is awesome, but I've not been in it yet. It is on my To Do list this year. Glad to hear you get the kids underground, My boys Love it at 9 and 12. Chaz
Respect the past and learn, Be active in the present and enjoy, Contribute to the future in a constructive manner. Chaz NSS 55321
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby Teresa » May 31, 2009 10:13 pm

Cordial invitation extended from both Middle Mississippi Valley Grotto and Meramec Valley Grotto in St. Louis.
I would love to hear "Uncle Lyman" stories! MMV is 4th Tuesday; MVG is 3rd Wednesday; both meetings at 7 p.m. Powder Valley Nature Center at 270 and I-44 in metro St. Louis. We've had a number of folk from that area come up here, including a past president of MVG.
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby commanderzoom » Jun 1, 2009 1:41 pm

We're in the process of joining MVG :big grin: . We went to the last meeting but were unable to go to IMOs afterward because our 8yo is also wanting to join and had school the next day.

I remember very little about talking with Uncle Lyman because I was in 3rd grade when he died. Most of what I have now is stories Dad and Grandma tell about him. He was a character--businessman/minister who ended up owning a cave along with Les Dill during the Route 66 glory days. He was on talk shows and knew pretty much everyone. Dad and his cousin toured Onondaga maybe a decade or more ago and spent the entire tour talking about the good old days of their childhood in the cave. When the guide started talking sh*t (can we swear here?) about how Uncle Lyman poured that concrete platform for wedding ceremonies, they ripped him a new one. The guide was all "WTF?? Who ARE you people?" Priceless. My great-aunt is still alive and lives in my town, but I don't speak to her anymore. She's my Grandma's sister and they've been fighting/not speaking for about 13 years and I was pretty much forced to take sides. I picked the one I was closest to. Sometimes Dad still talks to her when he runs into her at the store. I'd like to talk to her about her years at the cave, but it's really awkward now. How do you go about repairing a relationship with an almost 90yo woman who holds a grudge?
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby Chads93GT » Jun 1, 2009 4:56 pm

Same way you repair any damaged relationship. Conversation.

welcome to the site.
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby commanderzoom » Jun 1, 2009 6:44 pm

Obviously. It's just that it's more difficult than that because she's a stubborn old woman and I never really knew her all that well to begin with. The last time I saw her was when I was 18 (10 years ago) and I had to tell her who I was. She seemed taken aback and gave me the "WTF?" look. I think that's a bridge that's probably better left uncrossed, KWIM? I'd only be getting back into her life to get info about the old days. I don't like using people like that.

Edited to clarify: I knew her fairly well when i was a little kid but not so much as a teenager. She always struck me as weird and a little b!tchy, probably because she's Grandma's sister and they're a lot alike even though they won't admit it. I'm weird and a little b!tchy too and people like us generally don't get along when you put us together. Basically, I'm afraid of rejection :laughing: .
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby Chads93GT » Jun 1, 2009 7:49 pm

Don't worry, crazy old women scare everone, har har
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby chaz » Jun 2, 2009 10:28 am

Just a suggestion on the relationship repair; If you have her address, you can send her pleasant cards and letters. Keep it simple, short and sweet, just to let her know you think of her from time to time. You've got a big wall to crack and a small hammer.The ultimate reward may surprise you both! Good luck!
Respect the past and learn, Be active in the present and enjoy, Contribute to the future in a constructive manner. Chaz NSS 55321
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby commanderzoom » Jun 2, 2009 12:59 pm

Mom's a pretty close email buddy with one of her daughters (my 2nd cousin). Maybe I could have Mom say something to Patsy and go about it that way.
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby Teresa » Jun 3, 2009 12:54 am

Dear commander,
Be aware that ever since Artressia Davis, there has been a curse on people who get too close/spend too much time at Onondaga. The cave is a harsh mistress to both genders, but somehow the women tend to get the worst cases. Remember too, that with a very few exceptions (less than 2% of the mentally well population) inside nearly every irascible person is a kind and gentle one, who may be horribly scared to let that side show. You don't really have to take sides, even when two of your best friends are getting a divorce, much less during an in-family feud. You know better than we when/if to approach your great aunt. One approach might be you want to talk with her to separate the myth from the fact, before the old-timers are all gone.
Best wishes
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby commanderzoom » Jun 3, 2009 11:10 pm

You want to why her and Grandma don't like each other? It's hilarious and sad all at once. When my great-grandma was in the hospital dying, there was one comfortable chair and they both wanted it :laughing: . Obviously there's a little more to it (long history of sibling rivalry) but that's what did it. My family is so screwed up.
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Re: Newbie from MO- Family Feuds

Postby Teresa » Jun 5, 2009 9:07 am

commanderzoom wrote:You want to why her and Grandma don't like each other? It's hilarious and sad all at once. When my great-grandma was in the hospital dying, there was one comfortable chair and they both wanted it :laughing: . Obviously there's a little more to it (long history of sibling rivalry) but that's what did it. My family is so screwed up.


It's not that unusual. My dad and maternal grandfather didn't speak to each other for 10 or 11 years. It was over some argument they had when Grandpa had one too many beers, and wasn't being very tactful. Dad never forbade us seeing our grandpa-- he just never went to his house. My mother (a small, stubborn part Italian woman, and my dad was a tall stubborn German) spent all those years torn between husband and father. She finally put her foot down, and invited Grandpa to our house for my high school graduation party. Dad and he mostly didn't speak during the whole party, but by the end of the day, they were being civil to each other, because neither could stand to be talked around. She kept inviting grandpa to such things, he kept coming, and though they never became best hunting buddies, they were back on a cordial basis by the time my mom got sick, and they both were visiting her in the hospital. Blessed are the peacemakers...It's ok to get angry, but life is too darn short to hold grudges.
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Re: Newbie from MO

Postby commanderzoom » Jun 7, 2009 2:53 pm

*Sigh*
Grandma almost died last night. She's diabetic and her blood sugar was fine when she went to bed, but sometime after that it plummeted. Mom went in to check on her before going to bed and found her flat on her back, unresponsive, with her tongue hanging out and blood running down her face. The hospital says she aspirated on the blood and if Mom hadn't found her when she did, she'd be dead. She was somewhat responsive in the ER but didn't know who any of us were. Sometime around 3am, she sort of came to and knew who we were and now she's "fine" but just weak. She's supposed to come home tomorrow. I guess it's time for Dad to call her sister and get one of them to at least try to put the past behind them before it's too late.
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