When Grandma goes to court

[pacaver]

Lawyers should never have asked a Mississippi grandma a question if they weren't prepared for her answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
A grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you,
Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She again replied, ' Why ye s, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.

Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.
Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

[Jim 23482]

If you don't want to know the whole answer. Then don't ask the know-it-all. And seems Grandma does.

ROFLMAO

[slapout]

well we all know that a grandma would never lie and i am sure glad mine said that i was the most handsom one in the world

[smooveey]

If you don't want to know the whole answer. Then don't ask the know-it-all. And seems Grandma does.

ROFLMAO

Exactly!

But you never know with some of these old people. They would just say things in heat of the moment and be convincing about it. Could be false, but for in this case, it seems true which makes it funny.

That's really a great joke. Good job.

[Don Hunter]

When I started reading this joke it reminded me of a story I heard several years ago from a guy at work. This is supposedly a true story. On old man was on the witness stand, having been called as a witness to an assault or a robbery which occurred across the street from his house one evening after darkness had set in. The defense attorney had started in on the gentleman, trying to discredit his testimony, given the fact that he was 80 years old and wore glasses and it was, after all, dark outside at the time of the crime and he lived all the way across the street. When the defense attorney confronted the elderly gentleman with all these facts, he hit him with the big question. "So Mr. Smith, you say that despite the fact that you wear glasses and it was well after dark, you say you witnessed the crime. Now Mr. Smith, just how far can you see under these circumstances?" Mr. Smith thought for a while and after a second or two looked the attorney in the eye and said, "Well, I can see from here to the moon. I guess that's pretty far, isn't it?" "No more questions, your honor."