Spank Me !!! I've Been Bad !!!

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Spank Me !!! I've Been Bad !!!

Postby Larry E. Matthews » May 8, 2007 11:13 am

I was working in the Chattanooga area last week, so after work, I decided to go by Raccoon Mountain Caverns (a commercial cave) and visit with Patty Perlaky, the cave's manager and an NSS member.

Something strange came over me in the parking lot. Those who know me well probably know I am prone to such "spells". At any rate, I got out my Geologist's Rock Hammer, walked into the Ticket Office and asked the girl behind the counter:

"Does the stalactite collecting tour start at 5:30 ?"

She was just speechless. Didn't have a clue what to say. Her eyes got really, really wide. I felt sort of bad.

Then I told her I was there to see Patty, but she still looked totally freaked out.

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Postby Phil Winkler » May 8, 2007 12:26 pm

ROFLMAO! What a great line. :calvin:
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Postby adleedy » May 8, 2007 1:04 pm

:rofl:
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Postby bigalpha » May 8, 2007 11:53 pm

Hahahaha! Awesome!

I have an Uncle Gary who is always involved in something really amazing (like the time he worked with NASA to create the most slippery lubricant ever to be used in the next shuttle mission).

It always gets a lot of stares. I love my Uncle Gary.
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Postby Squirrel Girl » May 9, 2007 5:18 am

bigalpha wrote:Hahahaha! Awesome!

I have an Uncle Gary who is always involved in something really amazing (like the time he worked with NASA to create the most slippery lubricant ever to be used in the next shuttle mission).

It always gets a lot of stares. I love my Uncle Gary.
NASA must have needed your Uncle Gary. For some of the earlier lunar missions, they used graphite as a lubricant for the lunar rover. With no atmosphere, it turns out graphite works as an *abrasive*!!!!!!
:doh:
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Postby Stridergdm » May 10, 2007 4:13 pm

(hmm out of curiosity do you have a cite on that Squirrel Girl?)

Anyway...

years back a bunch of us had just finished teaching outdoor skills to some 6th graders. Wanted to hit the local beach. Didn't have the money for parking.

Drove up to the parking shack rolled down the window and the driver with a perfectly straight face simply said, "

"We're here from <some random made up University> for the Tern study."

The guy bought it. You can get away with so much if you just play it straight.
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Postby Amocholes » May 11, 2007 4:11 am

You can get away with so much if you just play it straight.


Rule Number 17: Act as if you know what you are doing.

Years ago, at about 11:00 at night, a local car dealer had all the lights on in the place including the lot. They were moving all the cars around inside the showroom. Cars were rearranged and the the Lincoln Towncar that sat in front was taken outside. All the other cars were put back into place. The lights were then turned off and the individuals got into the Towncar and drove off. A cop sat and watched for a while and then continued on his way. The next morning, the dealership called the police and reported the theft of 1 Lincoln Towncar.
When facts are few and far between, hypothesis defies all logic, as to how an individual came to the conclusion, that the point that they are trying to make, is indeed true and not just the fabrications of a deluded mind.
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Postby bigalpha » May 11, 2007 7:12 am

Amocholes wrote:
You can get away with so much if you just play it straight.


Rule Number 17: Act as if you know what you are doing.


Rule Number 17a: believe your lie. If you truly believe that what you are saying is the truth, nobody questions you.

Rule Number 17b: throw out some words that have something to do with whatever you are talking about, even if the rest of what you say is bologna.

Follow these three simple rules, and you can lie like a pro!
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Postby Phil Winkler » May 11, 2007 7:23 am

For our term final in Clinical Chemistry we had to do a paper about some automated clinical analyzer (this was 1973). I described a new instrument under development by Dupont that used micro quantities of serum and analyzed minute changes in ph when mixed with various reagents to determine levels of particular analytes. I droned on for 15-20 minutes. After I finished the instructor came up and said he was very interested in the instrument when it was marketed as his lab at Santa Rosa Medical Center (San Antonio) needed something just like that. I got an A for the paper.

Two days later I told the instructor (who became a good friend) I had made it all up. :D
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