An Old Visit To Cumberland Caverns...

[Larry E. Matthews]

I remember quite a few years ago Roy Davis telling me about some visitors to Cumberland Caverns (Tennessee).

These visitors, if I remember the story correctly, were from somewhere in New England and had only been to a few very, very small caves.

Roy took them into Cumberland Caverns, turned on the lights and slowly walked through the first portion of the cave - about 300 feet long.

At this point, where the lights ended, they thanked Roy profusely for the tour and told him it was the biggest and best cave they had ever seen !!!

Of course, they didn't realize there was another 16 miles of passages that they still hadn't seen !!!

They were speachless when he hit the second light switch and they saw that the cave continued.

Larry E. Matthews
NSS #6792-F

[bill fish]

Well....

this isnt a joke...but its an honest story of what happened to me on a caving tour one time.... honestly!

Had only been caving a year or two...and very much into it....and not surprisingly the local caving area had a state run tour cave....with camping....so thats where I usually camped...

Well, my younger brother and his best friend decide they might like to try out this caving thing....so we go...and there are some simple but neat caves in the park itself....so we do those for a day...have fun...clean up and camp for the night...

The next day we decide we will hit the tour cave....though we were all starving students and it seemed like a good bit of money....but dont get me wrong....the tour cave IS pretty darn nice...

So, we are going on the tour...and the old, curmudeony ranger is giving a pretty nice tour....

At one point we stop in one of the bigger, prettier rooms, and he gives a spiel, then announces that we will pause in this room for a bit for folks to look around and take pics....

Now, I THINK this guy knew we were "wild cavers" and all of a sudden he motions to myself, my brother and his best friend to come over to a corner of the room...

Well, I think "man, he's gonna tell us or show us something cool that the standard touristas dont get!"

Then he tells us he wants to show us something....NEAT!.... so we go over to even a more remote corner and he points at the ceiling...

He says "see that formation?"

Us " uhh...yeah?"

Him "You know what that looks like?"

Us "uhh....no?"

Him "looks like a big erect pecker!"

Us "okay?!"

Now, my brother and his friend were under 20, and I'm pretty sure that at that time I wasnt older than 20...and this guy was probably in his 50's....much less the fact that he was a MAN!

Actually even at the time I think we all thought it was funnier than it was creepy or offensive...and heck I guess we shoulda been flattered even...

Anyhow....its certainly not what you hear from a ranger on your standard state park cave tour!

Blll