RESOLUTION:
TO AUTHORIZE the use of the Most Chemically Effective Agent Possible against
Mosquitoes in the Front Hall, Bed Room, etc.
WHEREAS in response to the Mosquitoes war of aggression against and illegal
occupation of the Front Hall, the aggrieved has forged a coalition of Earth
Friendly Botanicals to liberate the Front Hall in order to defend the
national security of myself and loved ones and enforce Nature's resolutions
relating to the Humans are Bigger, Stronger and Smarter than Mosquitoes
Doctrine;
WHEREAS the Mosquitoes, in direct and flagrant violation of the Earth
Friendly Botanicals, attempted to thwart the efforts of the aggrieved to
defend its national security, by unleashing an assault on the aggrieved's
face during the early morning hours of August 3, 2006;
WHEREAS the Mosquitoes, by biting the aggrieved on the lip and eye, have
caused great swelling*;
WHEREAS the aggrieved is determined to continue to take all appropriate
actions against Mosquitoes, including but not limited to wiping them off the
face of the map with the highest potency bug spray known to human kind;
THEREFORE the aggrieved is authorized to use the Most Chemically Effective
Agent Possible as it determines to be necessary and appropriate in order to:
(1) defend the national security of the Front Hall, Bed Room, etc. against
the continuing threat posed by Mosquitoes; and
(2) enforce all relevant resolutions relating to the Humans are Bigger,
Stronger and Smarter than Mosquitoes Doctrine.
* think Angelina Jolie