I have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Publix
near where I live and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?). On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works
is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking myself and a car
hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have to stagger out the
door.