Stupid Question - Great Answer

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Stupid Question - Great Answer

Postby CKB69 » Jul 29, 2006 10:51 pm

I have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Publix
near where I live and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?). On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works
is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking myself and a car
hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have to stagger out the
Slide. Slide on the ice...
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Postby NZcaver » Jul 30, 2006 3:47 am

"Nope, I'm starting the Purina diet again...

Heeere's your sign!"
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Postby NICKSCAVE » Jul 30, 2006 8:22 am

Tha is on of the best examples of spontaneous B.S that I have heard in a loooonng time The perfect way to respond to a dumbassed question. :exactly:
Oh Boy,we may have to blast N.S.S 54295RE
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Postby graveleye » Jul 30, 2006 8:42 am

ad astra per aspera

The views expressed in this post are not necessarily those of any organization I am affiliated with.

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Postby bigalpha » Jul 30, 2006 11:07 am

Ha, that's pretty good!

I do that with The Leaf-Chronicle when they call my cell phone. I told one guy that I couldn't read, and he got all "oh, sorry..... uhhhh". I told another guy that I didn't read the paper because it didn't have good comics like the Hulk; and that I owned a #1 issue in mint condition worth 5k. I had him going for about 20 minutes.
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Postby Wayne Harrison » Jul 30, 2006 1:05 pm

Is this the back of the line?

No, it's the front. We're all facing backwards.

Have an accident? (to a crumpled bike rider)

No thanks, I already had one.
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