You know it's going to be a bad day when...

[cob]

You put both contact lenses in one eye,

You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

You go to put on the clothes you wore home from the party... and there aren't any.

You wake up to realize your waterbed broke, then remember you don't have a waterbed.

Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels onto the freeway.

You walk to work and discover when you get there that your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

You wake up face down on the pavement.

Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

Your income tax return check bounces.

and my favorite...

You call suicide prevention... and they put you on hold.