In honor of Father's Day

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In honor of Father's Day

Postby hydrology_joe » Jun 16, 2006 12:27 pm

Today nearly 100 years have elapsed since the first father's Day was celebrated. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages: In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it's the size of his minivan.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived. Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons. Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business. Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on throat cancer.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for baseball practice."

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..
What part of "Shall not be infringed" don't you understand?
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hydrology_joe
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Postby hydrology_joe » Jun 16, 2006 12:29 pm

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yoursâ€
What part of "Shall not be infringed" don't you understand?
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Re: In honor of Father's Day

Postby cob » Jun 19, 2006 8:25 pm

hydrology_joe wrote:In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for baseball practice."


wrong!!! nowadays we are awakened by a phone call at 4 am and a voice saying, "Pop! I'm in jail!!!"

tom

ps: we still have heart to hearts while sitting on the banks of an Ozark stream... at least if we are doing it right... (i hope, i hope i hope....)
If fate doesn't make you laugh, then you just don't get the joke.
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