WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Postby hydrology_joe » May 12, 2006 11:14 am

I checked and haven't seen this one yet. Please forgive me if its a double post...



WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
What part of "Shall not be infringed" don't you understand?
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Postby Amemeba » May 13, 2006 5:00 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?



WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS: For aesthetics -

The white chicken crossing the black asphalt.

BILL TORODE: For completeness -

The caves on that side of the road had all been mapped.

WILD TOM CHAMBLEE: For survival -

The chicken was on the wrong side of the road near the Blountsville Tyson plant - the Auschwitz for chickens.

BIG JOE TURNER: For love -

Well the curly-headed chicken fell in love with a chicken hawk
(who was on a fence on the other side of the road)

MARION O SMITH: For cowardliness -

After marking up our caves and despoiling our women the Yankee chickens refused to face the Confederates who were firmly entrenched in the mountains between Chattanooga and Atlanta, instead they crossed the road and snuck up on the city from behind and burned and annoyed many innocent people.

LAZY LESTER: For deception -

The little green toad told the big red rooster
You don't come around, Daddy, like you use ta.
The big red rooster told the little green toad
Wait a minute Baby 'til I cross this road.
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Postby kvart » May 14, 2006 7:20 am

Milo Washington----after copious amounts of beer, wine, and rot gut....

WHO CARES WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD.....!




BTW.....which chicken?
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