Cavechat.org

muddyface wrote:Ah, I finally have the full listing of the aforementioned maladies, the text was typed with a typewriter so it's a wee bit old but here it is.

WARNING:
The Surgeon General has determined that Caving can cause Cancer, Liver and Lung Disease, Miscarriages, Unwanted Pregnancies, Low Sperm Counts, Brain Tissue Damage, Muscular Dystrophy, Forgetfulness, Left-Leg Paralysis, Internal Hemorrhaging, Geekiness, Carbohydrates Deficiency, Negligence, Slow Motioness, Bureaucracy, Deforestation, Sexual Atrocities, Lack of Personality, Inflation, Heavy Machinery Malfunction, Anaphora, Plagiarism, Lying-to-Congress Disease, Gerrymandering, Incrimination, Schwa Deletion, Non-Confirmation Syndrome, Defenestration, Illiteracy, Sarcasm, Broccoli Overcooking, Frequent Defecation, Gossiping, Getting-Laid-on-the-First-Date-Syndrome, Mass Extinction, Ozone Depletion, Global Warming, Gas Leaks, Hailstorms, Arms Race, Legs Race, Gender Confusion, Transexualism, Misunderstandings, Gibberish, Boredom, Nausea, Vomiting, Hyperbation, Hyperbole, Manuscript Loss, Anarchism, Liposuction, Unsuccessful Barbecuing, Gargling, BONKing, Mavisms, Talking-in-Third-Person-Syndrome, Limosine Overcrowding, Elevator Stalling, Messianism, Low Scoring on Standardized Tests, PBS Pledging, PTA Joining, PTL Propaganda, S&L Bailouts, Dirt Under your Fingernails, Deficit Spending, BL&T Indigestion, Armpit Enlargement, Proletarianization, Antidisestablishmenterianism, Panic, Disillusionment, Asymmetrical Twins, Helmet Head, Appointment Cancellation, Foreplay Disruption, Stuttering, Dogmatism, Bath Tub Clogging, Eviction, Infant Mortality, Cryptorchitis, Shistosomiasis, Nepotism, Baldness, Bad Spelling, Maximum Verbosity, and General Failure in Life.